Blogger and creator of the Chakra Cards, this website has something for everyone
"...we have a choice to continue down the militarised, consumeristic, materialistic, selfish, ego-driven lives, OR we can choose art, creativity, collective co-operation, sustainable heart-centred world..."
I feel numb. I feel nothing.
So in order to feel again, I played netball when I knew that I would hurt myself with a pre-existing injury and I did. Yet, although I know it hurts, I still don’t feel it. I’m blocking it.
So in order to feel again, I started an online argument with strangers on Facebook, again. Which made me feel – like shit, but at least I feel something.
In order to feel again, I get restless, bored, irritable with my children and wonder why the hell I stay here on this planet when insanity is the order of the day from our politicians or so-called “leaders”.
For children with autism, they often require a firm touch, or to be squished under something, or to pinch themselves. For teens who self-harm, they cut, just to feel something. But I’ve got this restlessness that I have no amount of pinching or squishing that will help me to feel again.
I am stuck. I am stagnant and usually to get out of this, I go for a walk in the bush or I go to the gym or I hang upside down on the trapeze, but with an injury, now I can’t. So not only am I emotionally stuck but physically unable to use my legs with any efficiency.
It’s strange, but I feel like we as a global community are coming towards a crisis point. It’s like we have a choice to continue down the militarised, consumeristic, materialistic, selfish, ego-driven lives, OR we can choose art, creativity, collective co-operation and consciousness, sustainable heart-centred world. I feel like crap when I think of the first, I feel crushed, defeated, exhausted and not wanting to be here anymore. But when I think of the possibilities of the second my heart expands, I can feel it opening, enlarging, filling me up with joy and connectedness to all of life. I feel alive again.
Each one of us has a choice, everyday with how we respond to the events in the world and what we draw our attention to. We can choose love, or we can choose insanity, we can choose heart, or we can choose ego. It's our choice.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the insanity of this world and the best way is to disconnect from it. I’ve turned off my notifications on my social media, turned the sound off text messages, except from my kids, we don’t use the television for anything other than movies, Friends and David Attenborough and I’m thinking that it’s best if I also stop checking my Facebook newsfeed. The newsfeed is addictive. You keep scrolling until you find where you last checked in, but the reality is, it’s like going into Ikea, you are trapped in there until you find a way out!! It's like one of those poker machines, designed to suck you in!
I understand that by turning off newsfeed I’m at risk of advising others to not see my latest updates from my website, but the truth of is, Facebook doesn’t make me happy. It saps away at my valuable time that I could be spent with family and friends and in the bush, or reading amazing novels, or finishing my amazing novel that I’m writing!
My numbness comes from not living.
My numbness comes from living in my ego centre.
My numbness comes from lack of creativity.
My numbness comes from being a passive recipient of life, not an active participant in it.
My numbness and apathy comes from being at a point of emotional saturation of global madness that I can’t cope with it anymore.
So, I share only positive things.
I am starting to share images and messages that I want for the world, not the world that I don’t want.
I am sharing positive, uplifting things like on Bright Side and I’m spending more time in feeding the world I DO want, not
fighting against the world I don’t.
It’s a fine line that.
But it’s about energetic intention. Fighting implies effort, hard work and animosity, someone will always lose in a fight, but what if we share all the amazing and beautiful things in the world and pour our energy into supporting small businesses, local farmers and entrepreneurs, individuals with a heart-centred vision, not faceless corporations who suck the life out of the world and its people?
My numbness comes from not wanting to be here – in a superficial, ego-centred, money-driven world. No wonder people turn to drugs for escape. I can see how easy it would be to go down that track, but it’s not the answer. Escape from one reality is not the way to create a new world. The way to create a new one, to get the feeling back is to nurture the love, kindness, compassion and generosity of spirit that is in us all.
I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t want to be loved. At the core, we all have an innate need to belong, to connect, to be
loved and nurtured. So, we need to start loving more. We need to love the plants, the water, the animals, the people that are in or come into our lives, regardless of how long they stay. We need to operate in all moments from our loving heart and respond from our heart centre.
And, so I write.
I write to share my loving heart.
I write to share the human experience in this time of great awakening.
I write to feel.
And so I do.
©Alyssa Curtayne 2016
All images, videos, products and texts Copyright ©Alyssa Curtayne 2014-2017