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"I realised that as fun as it was to meditate, levitate and feel the abundant bliss that meditation offers, I realised that it was a form of escapism – no different to any other addiction. I was addicted to enlightenment experiences. "
Twelve months ago, I was deep in yoga and fully following the spiritual path, I was completing my yoga teacher training and was fully committed to the yogic identity. Today, my life couldn’t be further from it. Previously, I, like many others, sought answers in spiritual practice. I have completed an abundance of courses seeking the ultimate enlightenment. I’ve had some mind-bending experiences; leaving my body, levitating, becoming a channel for higher voices and making yoga and the “namaste” culture my entire life.
Then one day, in the middle of a mindfulness meditation course I realised that as fun as it was to meditate, levitate and feel the abundant bliss that meditation offers, I realised that it was a form of escapism – no different to any other addiction. As a 16-year-old I had a taste of spontaneous astral travel and spent the next 25 years seeking similar experiences. And I found them, boy, I found them. I, like many others, have had some outstanding experiences; solo ecstatic orgasm and hearing monks chanting while lying on a flat table strung with harp strings among the best of them, but those experiences are transient and ultimately aren’t contributing to a better world. I realised that I was addicted to enlightenment experiences.
We are spiritual beings having a physical experience.
Let me say that again, we are spiritual beings having a physical experience.
Why on Earth, would we want to be a spiritual being having a spiritual experience when we are here, on Earth, now?
Why would we seek out an experience to escape from the one in-front of us?
Why are we all seeking this mystical enlightenment, when we can have incredible sensory experiences in these amazing physical bodies? Our world is abundant with living and non-living things to touch, taste, smell, see and hear. Our world is abundant with incredible beings who offer opportunities every day to practice our humanity, our compassion, our unconditional love.
Why do we seek to transcend this world to a world beyond when this is where we are? Meditation doesn’t have to mean sitting still for hours on end, trying to quiet the mind, meditation can be found when bathing a child, washing up, driving a car or making love.
We are here.
We are here now.
There is no tomorrow, there is no yesterday. By the time you have awareness of the moment, it has passed. We have just now. We are where we are right now because that is where we are, so why seek to escape from the now?
I see so many people on the path of seeking, and without a doubt, it is an incredible path, but ironically, I feel that enlightenment isn’t some distant “spiritual” experience, something outside of ourselves or something to be attained, we ARE already spiritual beings, within us, and we radiate our inner light, without even looking for it!
It seems a fruitless search to seek something seemingly outside ourselves in which we already are!
So now, 12 months on from becoming aware of the search, I have a deep awareness of my spirituality; it guides me, it helps me to respond calmly and mindfully, but I am human and I focus my energies on my humanity, on service to the Earth, on how I can contribute to the world and my Earthly experience as Alyssa Curtayne, that is in the here and now.
I know that I no longer need to seek spiritual experiences, because I don’t need to – I am already spiritual, as you are.
©Alyssa Curtayne 2017
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