"We all, on some level, have some understanding of our life path and the key is being honest with ourselves about where we are and where we are going. "
My life has been a whirlwind of chaos for the past month. I’ve moved house, started a new business and let go of a couple of things that no longer serve me. It’s been an interesting time and today is the first day that I’ve had just to breathe and be.
I recently had to give a small job up that took up a lot of my time (mostly in travel) and I tossed and turned about it, agonising about how I would be letting her down, when in reality, by continuing to pretend that all was okay, I was letting both of us down by not being deeply honest with myself how I felt about my role. I had gotten into a space of saying ‘yes’ to everything that crossed my path because I felt that I would miss opportunities if I didn’t say ‘yes’. But what I created was a life so full of activity that I spent more time in my car driving to and from places that I had barely any time for rest, eating or time with my family. It came to a head on Saturday when I had a meltdown and wasn’t able to cope with a usually simple task. Telling her was hard, but continuing in this craziness was even harder.
We underestimate the value of breath and so often go through days holding our breath (and emotions) in. That’s why when we have a holiday we often get sick, because it’s the first time we have the opportunity to let go of built up emotions, tension and anxiety. It feels like the current universal energy is building in intensity and making us feel like we have no time, but living as if we have no time is not healthy for us or being authentic to who we are in any way, shape or form. But there has to be a better way of doing things than getting caught up in life and only stopping when you have an accident, a diagnosis, a death in the family or like I did, having a minor anxiety attack.
We need to recognise all the signs that the Universe gives us, long before we crash and burn.
I’ve lost count of the number of people I have met who have had a great "spiritual awakening" due to cancer, an accident, divorce or some other major life event. We are all spiritual beings and always have been, but with the busy-ness of modern life we forget who we really are. We forget to connect to the breath, to watch the sunrise or sunset, or lie out under the stars. We forget to look at the small insects and creatures that share this planet with us and most importantly, we forget to be still and allow the chaos to swirl around us while we hold our centre.
It’s like being in the eye of a cyclone; we know that this madness is going on around us, but if we can find that stillness within and just observe the moving winds around us, we can walk with the cyclone until it peters out. What I forgot, or didn’t create time for in the past month was my yoga practice, my blogging or journaling or any of the ways that I find my own centre. So my way of returning to self is a mini-crisis of sorts where I am forced to make a decision, which, in this case, I knew was coming with the letting go of things that no longer serve. I knew that that part of my life is coming to an end almost ten years after it started. Circus started in my life as an organic process as a part of my children’s life, but now, I feel like I’ve, well, for want of a better phrase, grown out of it. I feel like my life is shifting and moving in a completely different direction. It’s not that I don’t still love it; I just no longer want to have it as such a major focus of my life and my identity.
And I think that’s the main message for this blog, we all, on some level, have some understanding of our life path and the key is being honest with ourselves about where we are and where we are going. We need to create time for self-reflection and to stand in the cyclone and observe our life going on around us, otherwise there really seems no point in anything if we just get swept up in the chaos of the energy of life without stopping to get our bearings. The last thing anybody really wants is a crisis, so create time today to listen to your body, your breath, your intuition, your gut or whatever else you do and most importantly, be completely honest with yourself.
©Alyssa Curtayne, 2016
"I’m letting go of all the things, relationships and in many ways, my old-self, that no longer serve me anymore, go. Physically moving houses for me creates energetic shifts in ways that I cannot describe"
There’s something completely cathartic about moving house, I should know, I do it every three years or so! I love the variety purging of items that I haven’t got around to moving on, of deep cleaning once all the furniture is out of the way and more importantly, making a fresh start. We aren’t moving far, just five minutes down the road, so our lives won’t change that much. It’s not like the moves that I’ve had in previous years where the distance between places was thousands of kilometres!
The reason for this move was quite simply a financial one, but I also am starting my own business of doing Guided Consultations from my new home with my amazing Chakra Cards, which I can’t do where we currently reside. It feels quite refreshing at the moment and as my 16-year-old pointed out; “we have a new car, new cat, new home…we should expect you to get a new man soon Mum!” Lol! I’m not holding my breath for that to happen! It’ll happen or it won’t.
Movement is a natural state of human being-ness. Up until communities in the Middle East started settling in places to plant crops about 10,000 years ago, humans have always been on the move. Check out this article here, it’s very interesting. Today, it’s a cultural norm that you move into a place and stay there for your life that is particularly true for my parents and grandparents’ generation. Me, I’ve always moved. It brings freshness and new direction into my life. I moved when I left home to go to school in the city, I moved when I went overseas, I moved when I had a family, I moved to hide from my ex-husband’s harassment, I moved for my young family to make a fresh start, I made three big moves in our travels around Australia and now, I’m moving because my life is changing, I am changing career direction. All my biggest life events have happened alongside physical moves to new homes.
Currently, I am on a detox, I’ve started my yoga teacher training and my business plan is coming together for the Chakra Cards and Guided Journals. It’s the perfect time to move. When I first saw the new house, I danced around and jumped up and down, I was so excited. I just knew it was for us. It’s funny how when you know things, you just know. Excitement is a big indicator when something is, well, just right.
In this transition time while we prepare to move, I’m letting go of all the things, relationships and in many ways, my old-self, that no longer serve me anymore, go. Physically moving houses for me creates energetic shifts in ways that I cannot describe. It is as if with each move, I move higher and closer to who I really am, I grow with each move and feel more and more empowered and authentically me. With the next chapter of our lives about a week away, I’m excited about the new possibilities and the upwards motion of a new adventure.
©Alyssa Curtayne 2016
"What if we are all constantly chasing this “life purpose” or “mission” when in-fact all we need to do is be in the present moment and enjoy it, rather than fulfilling a designated purpose designed by an all-seeing God?"
I came across the Japanese concept of Ikigai* on social media in the past few weeks. Interestingly at the same time, I’ve been trying to find balance in all of the things that I love and thinking about my past, present and future, particularly around blending my life and career. I’ve seen the image of the Ikigai before and it means “reason for being.” It asks you to think about your passion, mission, vocation and profession by asking the following questions; what you love, what you do, what you are good at and what the world needs.
This journey to find my Ikigai is probably not so much find, but to explore the concept. I don’t necessarily want to find an end result, but instead to find a way to integrate all that I love into something that can both help the world and provide money while capitalising on what I’m good at. As a friend said the other day, “it is not a bad thing to want money.” I think somewhere in my head, I associate extreme wealth with selfishness and disconnectedness from the Earth.
What do you love?
A few months ago, I wrote a list of the things that I’m passionate about, and there were more than 30. My good friend, who has been offering me some business planning advice, said that to be effective, you need to pick three things and put your energy into those. How can I pick my favourites when I love so much? To ask someone to pick their top three passions is like asking to pick a favourite child!! Well, it is for me, I cannot chose. In each one of my passions: writing, circus, yoga, tantric energy and sex, family and friends, history, reading, literature, research, travel, adventures…it goes on…how could I possibly put each of those into one purpose for being?
What if there is not ONE passion, one thing, one purpose? What if it’s a false belief? Perhaps the energy for our various passions rise and fall in waves and we are like flotsam floating with what feels good. Maybe we don’t have one passion but many? Human beings are multi-faceted complex beings. I’ve got so many projects and ideas in my head and of the things I enjoy doing, I can’t possibly narrow it down to only to one or two things and put my passion into that. I like having my attentions and interests diverse and varied and makes for a diverse and interesting life. But the downside is that I have all these half-started projects that I’ve never seen through to finish and I’m not making any money from them.
What are you good at?
It’s easy to identify what you’re not good at but I think sometimes we don’t and can’t identify things that we ARE good at, the things that other people can see so well. We are often very self-critical and hard on ourselves. My good friend and mentor Jeannie Lovel taught me the following this week: “I embrace the part of me that feels…” and it has been so empowering. We don’t need to remove or change the parts of us that we don’t like, but to embrace them and love them for teaching us. We need to embrace both our light and our darkness, the things that we are both good at and not so good at.
What can you be paid for?
I can and have been paid for teaching, it has helped me to raise three children on my own and I’m so very grateful for it, but I am done teaching in schools in anything more than a casual appointment. I’ve been working with two friends who have been offering me some business mentoring and it has shown me how very little I know about how to run a business. (Look up Diane Lloyd An Authentic Life on Facebook, she is very good at this if you need some help!) It is a work-in-progress to turn all of my ideas, inspirations and projects into something that can generate an income. Yet a part of me wants to make things affordable for people who are struggling and who most need it, but my time is valuable and I am worth it. Finding a balance between these two things is a challenge for me that I need to embrace the part of me that is resistant to abundance.
What the world needs?
The world needs so much: connection – to each other and the Earth and its inhabitants, compassion, self-love, kindness, sustainable homes, more trees and wilderness and fresh, organic food… The Internet and social media is an amazing resource that we can all tap into to create the world that we want to create, join us on Facebook at the Feed the Love community if it is a vision that you would like to share.
My journey to discover my Ikigai has been very interesting and I encourage you to do the same if you are feeling lost or as the energy feels at the moment, clearing off the dross and being clear, authentic and present. As you can read by this blog, I’ve not come to any real conclusions and like life, my journey to Ikigai is an ongoing process. There are literally hundreds of articles online about finding your passion and fulfilling your purpose (or mission), but I wonder if what if there is no mission greater than just being authentically, truly, you? What if we are all constantly chasing this “life purpose” or “mission” when in-fact all we need to do is be in the present moment and enjoy it, rather than fulfilling a designated purpose designed by an all-seeing God?
I love being in the moment and sometimes in life, it is hard to do when you have competing demands on your time, friends, family, work, housework, etc. When I’m going with the flow, I meet the best people, have the greatest adventures and these things bring me even more happiness. My unhappiest moments are when I feel obligated to do things because another person/organisation expects it of me.
If I look at the yogic literature it actually says that the only reason for being is to be aware of the mind but know that we are all one. I’ve enjoyed the process of exploring my Ikigai, it is a fantastic tool for self-reflection, but I already know my reason for being…and that is to just BE.
©Alyssa Curtayne 2016