Teacher, blogger and creator of the Chakra Cards, this website has something for everyone to feel amazing.
Today a friend of mine reminded me that success is more than financial and asset-based wealth. Success can be found in the most simple of things - from seeing a seed bloom into a flower or to help somebody to have a better day.
So what is success and how do we define it? According to any dictionary online, it means the achievement of the results hoped for or something which achieves results. So why do we as a society place so much value on material wealth when there are so many other measures of success? The answer, I think, lies...
...in our upbringing and the value placed on success in our families our childhood.
I remember being about five when my grandfather would ask me every visit, if I had a boyfriend yet. That taught me that my value to my grandfather was based on my ability to secure a boyfriend. Of course, I'm sure he meant nothing by it and he certainly couldn't have foretold the horrendous relationships that I would have as a result of some unconscious desperate need to please him. But for me, that was a measure of success.
Or when I watched my parents work hard at multiple jobs as well as trying to raise four kids to help us reach OUR goals. That taught me that success is self-sacrificing in order to create financial wealth for later in life and that I would go on to self-sacrifice my needs for my children at the expense of my happiness.
Or the time throughout school where I always came runner-up in sporting and academic pursuits. That taught me that I was never good enough to win and that winning was always just out of my reach. I wasn't a winner and that set me up for my current state of success in both my professional and business life.
But mostly, society teaches us that to be successful, you have to have lots and lots of money. We laud the rich and wealthy and their extravagant, carbon-emitting lifestyles and I've yet to meet someone who doesn't want to win the lottery to "get me out of here". Why on Earth would we want to get out of our lives? It seems such a trite marketing slogan which places no value on the other forms of success that we humans can have - like the time I gave a teenage student a note which said "You are awesome" and he admitted that had I not done that, he was going to kill himself later that day. That's success. Or the time I raised my three daughters on my own, barely scraping by but giving them the best life I could have. That's success. Or the time that I had a student lose his footing in the pool and go under, I slid like a seal into the water to guide him to the side with only a few coughs and splutters and he came up with a big smile on his face. That's success.
Our childhood and adolescence are instrumental in helping us to set our values for our lives - both good and bad. But now that I can see them. Now, I can see the threads of my life that taught me about success and how I have been defining MY WORTH on my success (or lack thereof) on other people's measures of success and not celebrating the seemingly unimportant moments of success in everyday.
It was one of those light bulb moments today where everything changed within me. I can feel my total sense of self and identity that was built around these false ideas crumbling away. My worth should not be measured on my financial success, my ability to be in a relationship, my appearance, my intelligence or sporting prowess or any other measure of external success.
My worth is infinite, just because I am.
You're so worth it.
I finally know, so am I.
©Alyssa Curtayne 2019
Now, I can see the threads of my life that taught me about success and how I have been defining MY WORTH on my success (or lack thereof) on other people's measures of success.
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