Three steps to start your self-healing journey

Self-healing is the latest buzzword in the social world and with good reason, we as a society have a lot of healing to do, both collective and individual. It takes a lot of courage to do the work to unpack all of your sh*t. And like a piece of kintsugi, the scars will remain; the healing of a wound will never be just the way it was. That’s just the way it is and you know what, that’s okay.

We all have scars. All of us. Not only the ones we’ve experienced in our lives, but the intergenerational ones passed on from multiple lineages. It’s said if we go back eight generations, there are 2000 people who we are directly related to - that’s a lot of unhealed trauma being passed on right there! And it is overwhelming to think about this, but all we can do is work with what we have. We cannot continue to think of ourselves as victims of our trauma. Self-healing begins with acknowledging that we are simultaneously perfect and broken. Self-healing begins with taking responsibility for what was and moving into some acceptance of where we are now.

Here are three tips to help you begin your self-healing journey:

The first, is deep self-reflection. This does not mean self-flagellation and hating yourself. It is taking an honest inventory of your life and how far you have come. Look at the wins, or the growth you have experienced. This is not always easy to do, and I have found that keeping a journal is my best way of reflecting on how far I’ve come. I’ve re-read journals from years ago and realised I’m still processing situations and events the same as I was then AND getting the same results. By re-reading, I get to see what I can do differently and change my behaviour and reactions.

Secondly, self-healing is not a solo show. Reach out to professional help, someone you trust, a healing modality that calls to you - there are so many amazing healers out there just waiting to hold space for you to do the work. The work is yours alone, but you don’t have to do it alone. Build your networks, let people hold you when you cry, rage, or dance.

And finally, trust your intuition to move out of your safe spaces. Let yourself take safe risks. That may seem like an oxymoron, but move out of your comfort zone into some discomfort - do a course, go somewhere different, take a different route to work, try a new gym or yoga class, ask someone out for a coffee/beer/chat at a library - it’s in taking these small, safe risks that help to build our resilience to try seemingly more significant emotional risks.

The self-healing journey is not linear. It’s a spiral. You will come back to relationships or situations again and again until you find a different way to manage YOUR reaction to them and one ordinary, bright sunny day, something that used to trigger you will pass with a shrug, and on that day, you’ll feel amazing about how far you’ve come and how empowered you feel by taking responsibility for you.